DIET. SERIOUSLY??

I am on diet.

No rice diet.

I told about it to some of my friends.
Not everyone.

Let it stay secret.

I wanna change.

I wanna stay healthy.

I wanna be slim.

Like all my friends.

I think I am the fattest among them all.

It is embarassing.

I wanna wear what other girls are wearing.

I wanna wear skinny jeans.

I wanna wear beautiful dresses.

I wanna wear modern kurung.

Wishing for changes.

Hopefully my hardworks got paid.

Hopefully I get rewarded.



FAIRNESS

I am not beautiful.

So YOU put all beauty person around me.

To be friend with me.

To make me feel better.

Then guys come.

They chose them instead of me.

Do YOU know how hurt it is?

How jealous I am?

YOU do know.

I love this one guy.

YOU turn him away from me.

YOU distanced us apart.

YOU don't even give him the feelings YOU gave me.

YOU know what I feel?

How painful it is to me?

Yes, YOU know.

Sometimes I think YOU are so unfair.

Why can't I have something all my friend had?

I'm sorry I doubted YOU.

I am just a human.

I want to be loved.

I want some attentions.

And I also need answers for my questions.

I am truly sorry.

I love YOU.

NO TURNING BACK

I told my friend that i had stopped.

I told my friend it was so hard but I succeed.

I told my friend I am no longer longing for him.

I lied.

I did not know I was lying back then.

I just realized it now.

I realized that I lied to them and my own self.

Those feelings is still inside.

Those feelings never went away.

I am confused before.

But no more.

It is love.

I do like him.

And I love him.

Still, it is an unattainable love.

It's hurt.



A BREAKABLE THREAD



A true heatbreak is when you spying on your boyfriend using another number and character to text him asking wether he already had someone or not and he answered 'yes'.

Yes, that honest answer will definitely make you smile until the moment he mentioned someone else's name and not yours.

That time, you'll know what a heartbreak is.

That time, your heart will start to break into pisces.

That time, your cheek felt like slapped by someone.

Your hand will freeze, stop doing the thing you're doing.

And the tears slowly come down.

Leave him. He does not worth it.



THE STORY OF ME

I used to think one day we would tell the story of us,

How we met and the sparks flew instantly.

 People would say, "They're the lucky ones.".
I used to know my place was a spot next to you,

Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat.

 Because lately I don't even know what page you're on.

  A simple complication,
Miscommunications leads to fall-out.
So many things that I wish you knew.

 So many walls that I can't break through.

How did we end up this way?
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy.

 And you're doing your best to avoid me.
I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us,
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here.
But you held your pride like you should've held me.

I'm scared to see the ending,
Why are we pretending this is nothing?
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how.

 I've never heard silence quite this loud.

This is looking like a contest.

 Of who can act like they care less.

 But I liked it better when you were on my side.
The battle's in your hands now.
But I would lay my armor down.
If you said you'd rather love than fight.
So many things that you wished I knew,
But the story of us might be ending soon.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room.

And we're not speaking.

 And I'm dying to know is it killing you.

Like it's killing me.

I don't know what to say,

Since the twist of fate when it all broke down.

And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy.

The end.